Wednesday, April 30, 2008

A Modest Proposal

Today's print column is up. It's about a mom trying to get child support from the ultimate deadbeat dad.

Here's Spencerblog's suggestion: End parental rights for fathers who have not married the mothers of their children. Also end the legal responsibilities of fathers who have not married their children's mothers. Make it a completely voluntary system, worked out by the parties involved.

If it is a "woman's right to choose" whether or not to have a baby or kill it, it should be a man's right to choose whether or not to be a father to it and support it.

Such an approach will end the preverse incentive for young women to get pregnant outside of marriage, believing that the biological father can and will be forced to support their children.

What? You say. Young women get pregnant by mistake, not intentionally. You'd be surprised at the number of girls who get pregnant on purpose. In any case, sexual carelessness and promiscuity should not be subsidized.

Society should not positively incentivize the creation of single-parent families for they are the greatest predictor of failure in children to grow up whole and productive.

Across all race and class lines, it's kids who grow up in two-parent families who do the best in school and the best in life.

There are, of course, plenty of kids who do fine as the products of divorce or growing up in single family homes. Divorced parents who care about their kids will work hard and together to mitigate that tragedy. And divorced men should be required by law to financially support to the children that had while married.

But women who choose to have children out of wedlock would have to do so with the understanding they are on their own as far as the government is concerned. They will be at the mercy of their families and social networks they have and can build.

In Eve's case, she met and had a second child with another man, with whom she lives. Presumably he supports her, his son and the deadbeat's son. Good for her.

Is Spencerblog being cruel? No. Tough? Yes. Especially by today's standards. But at least it will make clear the daunting task of single parenthood for the one person who will be most responsible if they get pregnant and carry the baby to term.

There will, of course, still be plenty of charities, adoption agencies and other helpful civic organizations concerned about the welfare of children. Strong CYS departments will still be needed to investigate abuse and neglect cases and take children away from abusive or neglectful mothers or fathers.

Having a child is an act of heroism. Raising a child requires, patience, hard-work and sacrifice that is well-mitigated by the love a parent gets in return.

But mothers, fathers, children and worst of all FAMILIES, are not helped by a Domestic Relations system that pretends to work but doesn't.

20 Comments:

Anonymous r said...

In any case, sexual carelessness and promiscuity should not be subsidized.

True dat! End the misplaced sympathies and subsidies. Stop rewarding poor decisions and bad behavior.

April 30, 2008 at 10:25 AM 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Problem is the statements in your first few paragraphs are sweeping across the board.

Not all women get pregnant on purpose. Yet according to you all women with children born out of wedlock would be penalized? Last time I checked it took two to tango.

Speaking of which, you point out in your column that the woman has 2kids both out of wedlock, but the absent father has 4 or 5? How is he being responsible? Why not mandate he get snipped?

April 30, 2008 at 10:43 AM 
Blogger David Diano said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

April 30, 2008 at 10:57 AM 
Anonymous randal said...

Our society has been very compassionate and supportive of single mothers. But as Libs always do, they have pushed to far and have turned that into a warped celebration of single motherhood, splintered families and irresponsible life choices. Just like every other harmful Lib social support initiative, our policie$ are now backwards and actually deter responsible behavior and good decision making. They reward irresponsible behavior. It is time for us to start holding people accountable for their own actions and self-wrought problems. We can start by differentiating between single mothers who find themselves in their predicament through little or no fault of their own -those who started out in marriage before having kids and now find themselves single raising them- and those irresponsible folks who thanks to their own poor choices and poor decision making were never married and had bastards out of wedlock that too often just expect the rest of us to pick up the tab for their mistakes.

We can start by not giving them more money for each subsequent illegitimate baby they have.

April 30, 2008 at 2:07 PM 
Blogger steve mcdonald said...

I have to agree with Diano, there's no accountability on the guy's side.

However, under Gil's rule, I plan to become a he-whore with no cares about consequences.

April 30, 2008 at 2:27 PM 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I deal with DRO all the time. You have your good apples there and your bad ones. Dealing with out-of-state issues does tie there hands significantly. I don't think your "Eve" is quite the innocent babe-in-the-woods she considers herself to be.

April 30, 2008 at 2:53 PM 
Blogger David Diano said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

April 30, 2008 at 3:45 PM 
Blogger steve mcdonald said...

If we see the Almighty Gil Spencer on Maury screaming "Awwww naah naah naah I ain't dat baby's daddy Maury," you know we've come full circle.

April 30, 2008 at 3:49 PM 
Anonymous r said...

Gil's woman is hotter I am sure than any one Dave has ever had.

April 30, 2008 at 4:04 PM 
Blogger David Diano said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

April 30, 2008 at 7:36 PM 
Anonymous r said...

Smart Rightie bitches is hot, yo!

April 30, 2008 at 11:00 PM 
Blogger Franny Ward said...

Hey everyone! Google
"Delaware County Domestic Relations"
and see what I went through. Not all "Dads" are deadbeats.. Alot of "Moms" are too, as well as abusing the system.

Cheers.

P.S. My Daughter Stephanie is graduating Millersville University on May 10th. She want's to be an FBI agent. Wish her well.

May 2, 2008 at 3:48 AM 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have also delt with delaware county pa family law and domestic relations for many years. If you find your self involved, do yourself a big favor, be sure to get documentation,and then take it down to judical support and get a certified copy. because any documentation that shows bad judgement will disappear, finally address your concerns to the attorney general.

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