Monday, January 24, 2011

O's Big Secret!

Oprah Winfrey has been keeping a "family secret" for months, a "miracle" that "shook her" to her "core," and today on her show she's going to reveal that secret.

It can't be that she has a half-sister she's being reunited with because that's not a "miracle." That's just a cheap ratings grab.

Our prediction: She's pregnant! And it's a miracle because she's 56 years old and never had sex. Can't wait to find out. Can you?

4 Comments:

Blogger Dannytheman said...

My wife just called me from work and asked me to set the DVR for the Oprah show today.

I'm guessing the family secret is that she admits she is a lesbian and Gail has been her life long lover and partner and they are adopting children. But, hey, that's just my thoughts.

January 24, 2011 at 8:40 AM 
Blogger Spencerblog said...

Can't be. Because she just found this out a few months ago. But nice try.

January 24, 2011 at 9:51 AM 
Blogger steve mcdonald said...

just found out? hmmm. Here's a wild guess:

-Traced her family history, verified that she descended from slaves, now she wants to start a campaign for reparations for all whose families were affected.

Wild Guess, yes, but I know nothing about Oprah since I don't watch her show.

January 24, 2011 at 10:11 AM 
Blogger Dannytheman said...

It was/is a half sister she found out she had.

I am sad. My lesbian/lover Gail and wanting a child with her was better TV.

January 24, 2011 at 11:55 AM 

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