Thursday, September 8, 2011

Fore More Years

[Posted By Jake]

Now that the President's "coincidental" Wednesday conflict with the Republican debate has been resolved, we are free to give our undivided attention Thursday to the greatest speech in the history of mankind. A preview of Obama's proposals has been leaked to Spencerblog, and it's an unexpected* hole in one.

*Any Obama economic plan or unemployment figures must include the word "unexpected" since that oft-repeated excuse has become a new college drinking game.

Tonight, our fearless leader will boldly announce a new federal stimulus to build thousands of golf courses across America. This massive program will mandate that each citizen be required to play a minimum of two rounds of golf per week, expanding the Commerce Clause in the Constitution like Obamacare, or face a stiff fine. The same way President Kennedy challenged America to put a man on the moon by the end of the 60's, President Obama will challenge all Americans to break 100 by the end of his second term. Instead of the New Frontier, it will be called the New Fairway.

Tens of thousands of jobs will be created, real green jobs for real greenskeepers. The demand for landscapers will be so high that Congress will have to pass the Dream Act, providing amnesty for illegal aliens, and registered voters for Democratic districts. The increased physical activity supports the First Lady's campaign for healthy living, though its domestic focus might cramp her international travel lust.

Best of all, no one will ever be able to criticize the President for his record-breaking rounds of golf because he will have made the game a new entitlement.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, Jake, but having heard President Obama's campaign speach on Thursday evening I must report that while the intent was to set the stage for Four More Years, they won't be Fore More Years... Instead, he wants Congress to immediately pass a bill that has not yet been written let alone submitted to the House or Senate for consideration. And, by the way, he promised everything to everyone, unemployed, small businesses, etc. and then said it is up to Congress to figure out how to cut other spending to pay for it. Neat trick. He giveth and implores Congress to taketh away. So the situation with this administration is as it has been consistently over the past three years: S.N.A.F.U...

September 11, 2011 at 7:20 PM 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Again, Sorry, Jake, but now having seen some of the news reports on President Obama's Jobs Act it is apparent it is a job-act. He's proposing tax increases which over ten-years will pay for it. Once again we have bait-and-switch. The typical Obama approach. Spend it today and collect it over ten years. What happens to the deficit over the ensuing nine years? Yes, indeed. It wasn't a speach that dealt with our fundamental problems, it was a campaign speach that promised things that are just not relizable. S.N.A.F.U...

September 12, 2011 at 9:47 PM 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bob Bohne: Obviously I misspelled 'speech' as 'speach'... Emotions overcame me as I pondered the reality of what is happening. Sorry 'bout that and I will willingly accept your chastisment... Best regards, Anon...

September 12, 2011 at 9:50 PM 
Blogger Bob Bohne said...

Anon - You write "The typical Obama approach. Spend it today and collect it over ten years." How does this differ from the way that Bush decided to pay for two wars? Both of which you probably supported.

September 13, 2011 at 12:00 PM 
Blogger Bob Bohne said...

Anon - "Obviously I misspelled 'speech' as 'speach'"
You really need to lighten up. No one really cares about your mistakes.

Yor fiend. Bob

September 13, 2011 at 12:03 PM 
Blogger jake said...

Classic typo story:
I had a heavyset client named Bill. We sent out a proposal "Dear Bull".
First I got ripped for the typo, then his work buddies adopted the mistake as his new nickname. It became the gift that kept on giving.

September 13, 2011 at 2:24 PM 
Blogger Bob Bohne said...

Jake - I have a similar story. About 25 yrs. ago, long before texting, an Amtrak co-worker, young, and recently hired on a track gang, was writing his girlfriend a letter during his lunch break. When he was done, he accidentally left the letter on the bus. One of his co-workers found it and started reading it aloud. It read "All of the guy's in the track gang think I'm Super Man" One problem. He misspelled "Super" From that day on Dave was known on the track gang as Supper Man.

September 13, 2011 at 8:07 PM 

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