Spencerblog nominates Frank J. Flemming to argue for the plaintiffs in the Pennsylvania Voter ID case. Here he is answering Frequently Asked Questions from an obviously deranged voter.

Should we take extra measures to combat voter fraud, then? I thought I 
heard that you don’t even need a photo ID to vote.

No, requiring a photo ID is a stupid idea.

Why? It just seems like common sense.

No, it’s racist sense.

How in the world is that racist?

Think about it: Why would someone want an ID with a photo of you on it? So they could see by the photo what race you are.

I’m not sure you’re making any sense.

Fighting racism is so important that you can’t always worry about making sense. Anyway, another reason photo IDs are racist is that minorities have trouble getting photo IDs.

Why would minorities have a hard time getting photo IDs?

Because… um… minority stuff that you just wouldn’t understand, cracker.

Considering all the things one needs a photo ID for, such as writing a check, boarding an airplane, and even purchasing cold medicine, if people care about minorities, shouldn’t they focus on getting them photo IDs rather than blocking the requirement for having a photo ID to vote?

No, because… um…

This is pointless. This type of voter fraud never even happens anyway. It’s science fiction. I mean, someone going to the polls and pretending to be someone else is like some sort of space alien that changes shape — that’s just crazy.

To me it seems like a really easy way to commit voter fraud that should be prevented.

No, that’s crazy, and you’re crazy. The type of voter fraud I mentioned earlier is the kind where Dick Cheney and Diebold work together to reprogram voting machines, or like when the Republicans confused old people with a butterfly ballot.

I thought the butterfly ballot was made by a Democrat and that it was so simple that even children had no problem with it.

No, that’s… shut up. The point is, the 2000 presidential election was stolen.