Libertarian Radley Balko pens the letter he says Michael Phelps should have written after being busted for pot.

It begins:

Dear America,

I take it back. I don’t apologize.

Because you know what? It’s none of your godd----ed business. I work my (butt) off 10 months a year. It’s that hard work that gave you all those gooey feelings of patriotism last summer. If during my brief window of down time I want to relax, enjoy myself, and partake of a substance that’s a hell of a lot less bad for me than alcohol, tobacco, or, frankly, most of the prescription drugs most of you are taking, well, you can spare me the lecture.

Hmmm. It might help get the EZ Wider rolling papers endorsement but other than that...