Monday, November 30, 2009

Tiger II

The Tiger crash story gets more interesting.

As predicted by Spencerblog, it appears another woman was involved. The National Enquirer has the story. And let's face it, they got the John Edwards "Love Child" story right.

What is lame is Tiger's attempt to blame the supermarket media for being curious about his extra curricular love life while obviously hiding the truth about what occurred.

In a statement on his website, Woods (or someone authorized by him) wrote:
As you all know, I had a single-car accident earlier this week, and sustained some injuries. I have some cuts, bruising and right now I'm pretty sore.
This situation is my fault, and it's obviously embarrassing to my family and me. I'm human and I'm not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn't happen again.

Notice, he doesn't mention how he managed to drive into a fire hydrant, then and a tree, at a speed slow enough not to cause his airbags to deploy.
This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.
Fine. But notice he doesn't deny an inappropriate relationship with the woman in question. In the most round about way he seems to admit it while telling everyone it's none of their business.
The only person responsible for the accident is me. My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.
Translation: "I got caught cheating. My wife came after me with a golf club. I took off in my Cadillac Escalade to avoid a confrontation. She followed me and smashed out two back windows as I tried to drive away. It distracted me enough for me to plow into a fire hyndrant.

"If I hadn't been cheating, she wouldn't have had to do that. She's brave. She was just protecting her family when she attacked me and my Escalade. I was horny and stupid. I won't cheat again. I promise. Now everybody else, mind your own business. Especially you bastards at the National Enquirer."

Tiger has declined to discuss what happened with the police. I don't blame him. My favorite part of the story is the police chief saying Mr. Woods is under no legal obligation to give a statement. That's damn right.

Meanwhile, the world will construe according to its wits... and Tiger should "no comment" it from here on. He's already in enough trouble.

11 Comments:

Blogger steve mcdonald said...

guess he'll be losing his set of 'woods' for this one.

censor worthy?

November 30, 2009 at 8:37 AM 
Blogger Bob Bohne said...

Steve - Censor worthy? It wasn't even print worthy. Pathetic.

December 1, 2009 at 8:01 AM 
Blogger steve mcdonald said...

A little high and outside on that one, Ball one.

Its hard to get a good sex-related joke on here without having it censored, Bob, I just don't have the talents to make it vague enough for Leno-quality.

December 1, 2009 at 9:38 AM 
Blogger jake said...

Steve,
I thought yours was a fine effort at golf humor.

I think we need more information to properly evaluate this situation.
Maybe Gil could post the Internet pictures of Elin and her twin sister that ran a few years back.

December 1, 2009 at 5:33 PM 
Blogger Bob Bohne said...

Jake & Steve - the two of you should share a romantic milkshake at nifty 50's sometime soon, you're too cute together...

December 2, 2009 at 1:44 PM 
Blogger steve mcdonald said...

sad...

whats wrong bob, running on empty?

December 2, 2009 at 11:14 PM 
Blogger Bob Bohne said...

Steve - You're right. It was sad. I can do better than to parrot your comments. So, here goes.
The two of you should get together for a little tea bagging at the next Palin rally. You're too cute together.

December 3, 2009 at 10:34 AM 
Blogger steve mcdonald said...

Bob,

Nice attempt, but too Cliché for me, I'll give you another opportunity. lets see something creative!

December 4, 2009 at 8:47 AM 
Blogger Bob Bohne said...

Steve - Right again. Way to easy.
Maybe a reinactment of the wrestling scene from Borat?

December 4, 2009 at 10:20 AM 
Blogger steve mcdonald said...

much better! Talk about comments on 'wood'

December 4, 2009 at 10:52 AM 
Blogger Bob Bohne said...

Steve - That was possibly the funniest scene I've ever seen in a movie.

December 4, 2009 at 11:40 AM 

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